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Know-it-alls are toxic.

Starting in grade school, we are constantly rewarded for being right and punished for being wrong. It’s the difference in a score on a test, a letter grade in a class, and sometimes, public recognition versus embarrassment. I can still remember those sweaty-palmed moments in third grade where we had to go around the room and do random multiplication problems until only one person was left standing, victorious. 

Focusing on right vs wrong may be an effective way to learn things like multiplication which have a clear and correct answer. We are not trying to advance the state of the art of multiplication, we can just memorize and move on. 

Many of us in tech excelled at these types of situations. IT is a collection of an awful lot of people who were at the top of their respective classes. All along the way, we’ve been told we’re good and special because we’re so often right. And sometimes all of that experience at being right starts to trip us up. 

Being right gets in the way.

As we move on in our lives to solving bigger and bigger problems, our work becomes less about regurgitating a memorized solution, and more about thinking in new ways to do things that may at first seem impossible. If we have placed too much of our own worth on not being wrong, we’d rather stand on the sidelines and criticize than get on the field and risk being the one to mess up. 

In her incredible book Daring Greatly, Brene Brown writes that both children and adults list fear of being wrong as the number one killers of innovation and creativity. People may struggle to voice new ideas because they fear being seen as stupid or publicly humiliated if the idea doesn’t pan out. Staying quiet, but safe, seems easier. But it doesn’t serve the goal of a truly special outcome. 

We have to take away the stigma of being wrong or not knowing in order to advance as people and as a team.

Replace “I don’t know” with “I’d love to know more.” 

When people fear being wrong, they resort to fight or flight. Those who choose flight will often say “I don’t know” not as a way to open the conversation to learn more, but as a way to shut it down. By saying they don’t know, they are saying “Don’t pull me into a situation where I might mess up. I’d rather stay here, not growing, than risk a mistake.” This stunts everyone in the organization. Those who do know are forced to keep repeating the ground they already know well even if there might be a better way, and those who do not know are never given the opportunity to expand. 

There are many things that each of us do not know as individuals. It’s normal to feel discomfort when asked to expand your skills. However, this discomfort is not weakness, it’s an opportunity for both the learner and the teacher. Wouldn’t you rather be able to say next time “I do know something about that and I’m eager to learn more?” We choose to fight this discomfort and push through to better ourselves and our team. 

One way we encourage everyone to learn more is by insisting that developers not silo themselves as “Front End” or “Back End” but learn the entire process. Another way is by ensuring everyone takes a turn on our Help Desk so they can be exposed to a wide variety of projects. Over time this has elevated our collective skill set so that we can all contribute toward the desired outcome in whatever way is needed. 

Resist the reasoning backfill. 

For those who choose to fight, the go-to tactic is what I call the reasoning backfill. You’ll see this come into play when someone’s decision is being questioned and instead of being able to actively consider whether another choice might be better, fear of being wrong causes them to go into overdrive coming up with reasons why they’re right. These reasons were never even considered when the decision was made in the first place, but in the face of a perceived attack the decision-maker is trying to defend on the fly by inventing facts and logic. 

The reasoning backfill hurts everyone involved. The original decision-maker is prevented from growing because they are not able to logically discuss the decision and learn from it. The person questioning the decision is hurt because instead of being rewarded for their diligence, they’re met with resistance and hostility. The outcome is hurt because it doesn’t get the benefit of an honest review of various options. And organization is hurt because over time this pervades the culture and everyone learns to just keep their mouth shut. 

We don’t do the reasoning backfill. We are interested in finding the best way to serve the outcome, and being right as an individual doesn’t matter as long as we can be better collectively. 

“You’re wrong because I don’t know how to do it that way.”

Finally, there is the knee-jerk “that won’t work” response. Typically this happens when one person is trying to suggest something new and innovative and another person’s insecurity gets triggered. This insecurity might be based on feeling like the idea is going to be a hassle for them, pushes them into territory they aren’t comfortable with, or supersedes another way that they like or are proud of. 

“That won’t work” is the enemy of innovation.