7

We know when to hold ‘em.

We’d like to believe that all business relationships are positive and a great fit and that applying the foregoing principles will always make any situation smooth sailing, but some are more difficult. As Kenny Rogers said, you’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, and know when to fold ‘em. 

When it’s not going well, we communicate.

Our principles are built on trust and accountability. Hostility, whether it’s from clients or team members, is often built on top of fear. Those who fear their opinions won’t be valued, their expectations won’t be met, or their goals won’t succeed have a hard time collaborating toward a common goal. They may lash out, accuse, and take defensive measures to guard their objectives. 

This can be kick-in-the-pants infuriating, especially when you’ve been working your tail off to help someone. But the instinctive response, to respond in kind or escalate, is counterproductive. 

What does work is to take the time to understand the person’s fears, figure out how to address them, and follow the plan consistently to build trust. For both clients and team members, people may have had negative past experiences that color their perceptions. There may also be insecurities or financial pressures in play. Showing up day after day and demonstrating that we are on the same team builds that foundational trust. 

One thing that can speed this along is communication. If we recognize a person’s fears, we can explicitly communicate what we are doing to address them. The best time to do this is pre-emptively, so the person doesn’t have to spend time getting worked up over a non-issue (and neither do we). 

When it can’t be saved, we part ways with dignity.

The vast majority of cases are fixable. But sometimes, it’s just not meant to be. One of the first times I had to make this call was about 5 years into this business. Our largest client was about 40% of our revenue, but our main contact had been behaving in an increasingly erratic way. He’d praise us one day and call to berate us the next. 

One day he called and used very abusive language toward one of our developers for doing the right thing and trying to find a permanent solution instead of just papering over a problem. In case I had any doubt about the exchange (I was offsite at the time) he sent a follow-up email continuing to berate the employee. 

That was the moment that we as a company grew up and realized that if everything we stood for was on one side, and money on the other, we don’t choose the money. Clients whose only benefit is revenue are not the clients we want. They drain energy so we can’t be your best or put out work we are proud of. Eliminating that burden frees us up to do fantastic work for those who will appreciate it. That day, I called the president of my client’s company and fired them. I told him what had happened, and why it wasn’t a good fit for either of us because we couldn’t do our best work for them anymore. Surprisingly, he said he understood (and years later, with different personnel in place, they ended up convincing us to work with them again — this time, in a mutually beneficial way). 

The best way to avoid firing a draining client, is not to take them on in the first place. We probably only end up working with around 5% of those who contact us. While it might seem tempting to try to be everything to everyone, being choosy about the projects we accept sets the stage for us to do our best work and make our clients happy.

We have a very specific culture. It relies on each person to take individual responsibility while keeping the ego in check, always learning, and being a part of a team. All of this happens in the context of taking our clients’ dreams and visions and making them our dreams and visions. This isn’t always easy. 

When the relationship is not working, the symptoms are easy to spot. The person becomes frustrated and disengaged. They take petty shots at their co-workers. They take the easy way out with clients and don’t dig to the root of problems. 

While in the movies, this would only happen with people we didn’t like in the first place, in real life it can happen with people we like and care for. The first step is to try to work through it. That doesn’t mean ignoring problems and letting them fester. It means having an adult conversation. We all have bad days, and part of our commitment to each other is to help each other get through our growing pains. Something as simple as “Hey - are you okay?” can often open up an important dialog. Being able to give and receive constructive feedback is part of a healthy work relationship, and honesty is a sign of respect. 

When it’s a longer-term mismatch, it’s best to part ways. That’s rarely easy. I count the times I’ve had to fire employees, or accept someone’s resignation, as the toughest days of my career. But when that situation has arisen, the almost immediate relief from the rest of the team was palpable. Part of being a healthy organization is recognizing when to move on.